Like a Bullet Through the Chest....

Today's just one of those days. You know the ones. Where you pour a bowl of cereal, head over to grab the milk, and your out? Yep, That's today.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately. (Insomnia is great for that) I've always known I was different. I'm an outsider. I always have been. I was mostly a loner in elementary school. That is, until fourth grade when I met my best friend, but that's beside the point. Being alone, I think it... matures you in a way. You don't have friends to remind you how a proper third grader thinks, and you begin to drift off into 5ht grade, maybe even sixth grade thoughts. I do that now, only I think it's to a point where I think like an adult.

When I write, my characters are usually in their early 20's. Romance works best at that age, because it can be serious. Also, that's how old the Jonas brothers are, and since I usually write fanfiction, it helps if the girls are the same age as the brother they're paired up with. This, makes me think more like an adult. Or at least, a young adult. It's come top make me realize, my parents your parents, everyone's parents have a love story that started in their 20's. they were young and in love once. Us, as their kids, we're just pieces of a love story.

This has made me see adults more as equals then adults. When I was on vacation, I caught little moments where my parents seemed young and in love again. When I was little, I used to be grossed out if my parents ever kissed in front of me. Now, I don't mind. I realize that they once got butterflies when they looked at each other. Maybe they felt a spark when they first touched. My parent's love story is a love story. They won't tell me all of it, I'm not quite sure why some of the things  I don't know about are being kept from me when I ask. I think their story has more pain then I'm expecting, and that's why. I wish I knew though.

I love writing romance, because love is so fascinating. I've never been in it, but I have had my heart broken. I like to write about the good times, more then I do the bad. I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I like to think about all the great things that come with falling in love.

This blog's title, is a line form what now sits as my favorite song. Vesper's Goodbye by Nick Jonas and the Administration. The songs just beautiful, and raw.

I see it turning red
like a bullet through, the chest
lay me down to rest
it's a lover's final breath

It's on my list of songs I want to learn to play on piano. And no, don't start getting excited like, "Piano! I didn't know Zoey played piano!" because I don't. I took a couple lessons when I was younger so I know the basics. I can't read music at all. I play by ear. I teach myself on youtube. By ear. It's really hard, but hey, Paul McCartney can't read music, so eat that society!

Your thoughts are always welcome!

-Zo