STOP

“In this world it’s so easy to hate it, but you should always remember that you were chosen to be on this earth” - Joe Jonas

I saw this on tumblr, and found it way to powerful not to post here. This doesn't just here because I want the Joe hate to stop. (But don't get me wrong, I DO) I just want hate to stop in general. Love everyone. Always

Oh How I Wish My Life Could Be, Zero Gravity

I always seem to be tripping myself. Yet I'm also always competing with myself. Well I guess not myself really, but other expectations of me. I'm supposed to be straight A, college bound, future changer of the world. At least according to my Mom. I'm not sure if that is  me anymore though. You see, I've grown up a lot over the summer. Like I said before, I don't act and think like a 14 year old girl. I never have really.

Anyways, back to tripping myself, I have a lot of fears. A fear of speaking my mind, even though I have a big opinion. A fear of asking for help. A horrible fear of failing, and not being good enough. A fear of my GPA slipping, or a B finding it's way onto my report card. I'm afraid of letting go, and being the person I want to be, instead of the "pleasing everyone" kind of girl I am.

I wrote a song yesterday. On the front steps of a church two blocks from my house. I got upset and stormed off. Before i knew it I had a verse and a chorus. Picture a really rocked up tempo in your head.

Whenever I rise above the ground
I always feel myself crashing down
It's this stupid law of physics
That requires a lot of doctors visits

One moment I'm soaring to great heights,
The next I gotta get up and fight
Just once I'd like life to be,
Zero Gravity
Oh
Zero gravity
I'll always wonder as I wander,
But in my heart,
The thought grows fonder
Oh How I wish my life could be,
Zero Gravity

Every Tear Drop Is A Waterfall

I apologize for the depressing posts I've been writing lately. Nothings been going my way as of late, and I've been venting about it all on here. That's not fair. You don't want to read about all of that!

Something I've realized lately, is that no one really sees 100% of me. At school you see 40% of the real Zoey Noel. At home, my family gets about 60%. What's that other 40% NO one sees you ask? Well that's a pure, untouched part of myself that I only see. Those are my thoughts, my unshared dreams, the quick wit and dry humor that doesn't show up on my twitter account or formspring. A part of me, I keep to myself because the world isn't ready for the entire Zoey yet. The only other person who maybe is, is well... my Joe Jonas cut out. He knows all my deep dark secrets.

I think I'm going to share one of those on here now, just because I trust you guys. But if a super judgemental plastic from my school reads this, then I'm screwed. I;m willing to take that risk though.

In my search for the real Zoey Noel, I discovered an odd fact about myself. If I had the pain tolerance, I'd love a tattoo. Not one of those cheesy cliche ones. Not mermaids, eagles, or "mom" hearts. Something that actually means something. Not act of defiance, or a reason to put cool art on my body Song lyrics. A Jonas quote. Words basically. Words are easy, and beautiful. I love to write words, and make something with them. A story. A picture may be worth 1000 words, but 100 words are worth so much more then a picture.

Does that make sense? Of course not! This is Almost O'Hara! Nothing on this website EVER makes sense! That's because I'm writing it, and this is my life.

Peace and blessings,

Stay Classy,

Zoey O'Hara Layne

PS (Like my stage name?)

PSS Do you like the blog title? I dig Coldplay. Did you know they're this generation's Radiohead? :p

I Can't. I'm Sorry, But I Can't

Today is one of those rip your hair out, and then go sob in the corner kind of days. I feel like a horrible person, and I feel sick to my stomach. I hate everything right now. This whole problem is because that title up there ^^^^^ is something I need to tell a person. If he doesn't just fully let go, I can't either. We're not being very fair to each other. If he keeps this up, there will be more days like today. When the guilt builds and builds, and then the dam bursts. I'm  the one left feeling guilty, while he just has heartache. It's a twisted circle I don't think I can stand anymore.

I'm the "you" in this song lyric.  I hurt him, and now whenever I say 'He's my brother! Gross! Incest is wrong you guys!' I twist the knife I put in his heart two years ago just a little bit more.

Maybe I'm over reacting, and he's fines. I know if the situation was reversed, I'd be feeling like that. It's days like today when I need an older sister to talk to, instead of a friend who's advice is, "Just go out with him and live happily ever after" (Obviously, she doesn't understand that the feeling isn't mutual)

I Want Your Lifejacket in Love

Greg Garbowsky is engaged to the beautiful and talented Paris Carney. I am seriously, so happy for them. I LOVE Paris' music so much, and I love Greg's music too. Basically, I love both of these people very much. Greg has always felt like my distant older brother. I don't really know why. He just has. Two people I love, in love. I'm so happy for them both, and I wish them the best. A happy life together and all of that.

Paris Carney fans, and Ocean groves fans should find the humor in this post title. If not you're lost. Sorry.

When Will My Life Begin?

I'm a Disney freak. I LOVE all Disney movies, but my favorite has to be Tangled. it's just so... I don't really know how to describe it! It is my dream to play Rapunzel in the Broadway production of Tangled. I can already sing all of the songs. I would also settle, whoever, for being Rapunzel at Disneyland. It would be equally AMAZING! I'd get to do this everyday!

AHH! I think that would be so cool!

Today, I discover Disney Couture. It's a bunch of really cool collector stuff, with really cool drawings of the Disney princesses. Wondering what I want for my birthday? A Rapunzel doll or a Belle, and pretty much, EVERYTHING ON THAT WEBSITE!

Where Are We?

Yesterday, my family decided to take a 45 minute drive to Enterprise for the Corn Festival they have every year. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be as much fun as my parents thought it would be.
I was right.

When we get there, we get yelled at by hillbillies about bringing our dog to the park. Then we bring my dog to the park, and the first thing he does is poop. My dad forgot to bring baggies, so we searched the place for any trash we could use to pick it up. We founds something, and after my dad picked it up, we realized there weren't any trash cans near by. So my dad had to put it in the porta-potty. This should 've been our first sign that the day wasn't going as planned.

We decide to bail, and get lunch as this really awesome burger place called Marv's. My mom and I went inside to buy the food, and were told there was a 45 minute wait for takeout. So we left, and decided to buy chips and drinks and stuff at a connivance store down the road. This was our second sign to turn around, and just go home.

Then we went to the lake. I hate the lake, so I sat in the car most of the time and caught up on my reading assignment for English. There was a bee outside that kept bugging my sister and Mom. I decided to go outside and bug them, because my sister and I had gotten in a fight earlier that day. I turned my iPod up full blast and started singing Kleptomaniac by Joe Jonas at the top of my lungs. Then, I went back in the car. Five minutes later, my mom screamed an ran in the car. The bee stung her in  the hand. This was her first bee sting by a live bee. That was our third and final warning, but again we ignored it.

"Let's take the back way home." My dad suggested. We all liked that idea. My dad knew the area pretty well, and we figured he could take us home okay. We were wrong. We drove around all day. We were hopelessly lost. Then, a small cloud came out of nowhere, and it started pouring rain. We has to pull over because it was so muddy we woud've gotten stuck. Then it started to hail, and my parents were getting scared. We were lost. It was pouring rain, and it was going to get dark in three hours.

We had seen tracks on a road a couple miles before, and we decided they must've been ours, so after the rain stopped, we started following the tracks, and we ran into Eugene. "You lost too?" He asked.

"Yeah. We were thinking this was the way back to Enterprise, so that's where we're headed." My dad replied.

"Oh no!" Eugene's wife said quickly. "That leads to a cliff with three cows on the end, and six feet of water underneath."

Our jaws dropped. Where the heck were we!?

Eugene seemed to know where we were, and he said we could follow him. He lead us into Slaughter Creek, and onto the main road. We were safe! Seven hours after leaving the lake, we were safe. It was so strange. If we hadn't have found Eugene, who knows how long we could've been out there.

I'm not a very religious person, despite the fact that I live in Utah. I was so freaked out about the prospect of spending the night in the car in the middle of no where, eating juice boxes and potato chips for dinner that I prayed. That's very out of character for me. I just prayed for us to be guided home safely, and about 15 minutes later we ran into Eugene. That was the first time in my life I've prayed, and gotten an immediate answer.

So that was my crazy adventure to the Corn Festival. And the biggest bummer, WE DIDN'T EVEN BUY ANY CORN!

-Zo