When The Party's Over, How Will I Get Home?

I have that reputation. I'm a high school cliche, in most peoples eyes, and even in my own.

I'm the girl that helps everyone with everything. When your boyfriend dumps you, my shoulder comes out of no where, and is ready to soak up the tears.

Don't understand your biology homework? Come on over to Zo's desk, and she'll explain it too ya!

I get good grades for my parents to say "My daughter's straight A."

And that's great. I love making people happy and helping them feel better, and making my parents proud. There is a downside, because the other end of the cliche is that "I'm there for everyone, but no one is there for me."

When my heart hurts, no one knows what to say. When I don't know the answer, no one else does.  When I get a B, no one cuts me any slack.

I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, where's the fairness in that? I give my everything, and get not help in return. I don't want a friggin parade or anything. I just want support when I need it too. Is that so much to ask? I don't think so. It doesn't take much energy for me to help everyone.

Today's blog title is pretty fitting, huh? It's a line from a Christina Perri song. (She's the Jar of Hearts girl) The song's called Sad Song. It fits this occasion nicely.

-Zo

STOP

“In this world it’s so easy to hate it, but you should always remember that you were chosen to be on this earth” - Joe Jonas

I saw this on tumblr, and found it way to powerful not to post here. This doesn't just here because I want the Joe hate to stop. (But don't get me wrong, I DO) I just want hate to stop in general. Love everyone. Always

Oh How I Wish My Life Could Be, Zero Gravity

I always seem to be tripping myself. Yet I'm also always competing with myself. Well I guess not myself really, but other expectations of me. I'm supposed to be straight A, college bound, future changer of the world. At least according to my Mom. I'm not sure if that is  me anymore though. You see, I've grown up a lot over the summer. Like I said before, I don't act and think like a 14 year old girl. I never have really.

Anyways, back to tripping myself, I have a lot of fears. A fear of speaking my mind, even though I have a big opinion. A fear of asking for help. A horrible fear of failing, and not being good enough. A fear of my GPA slipping, or a B finding it's way onto my report card. I'm afraid of letting go, and being the person I want to be, instead of the "pleasing everyone" kind of girl I am.

I wrote a song yesterday. On the front steps of a church two blocks from my house. I got upset and stormed off. Before i knew it I had a verse and a chorus. Picture a really rocked up tempo in your head.

Whenever I rise above the ground
I always feel myself crashing down
It's this stupid law of physics
That requires a lot of doctors visits

One moment I'm soaring to great heights,
The next I gotta get up and fight
Just once I'd like life to be,
Zero Gravity
Oh
Zero gravity
I'll always wonder as I wander,
But in my heart,
The thought grows fonder
Oh How I wish my life could be,
Zero Gravity

I Feel The Pain All Over My Body

When Joe Jonas sang I'm Sorry earlier this week, i was so excited. The second time I listened to it, I started bawling like a baby and thinking, "Joseph Adam Jonas, when did you start reading my mind?" I can relate directly to every single lyric on that song, which is different for me. I've never felt that before. If the songs about Demi (not that I really care, this is just an example) then I can relate to it in such an extreme way.

I was never a 'Jemi' supporter because I knew exactly what he was doing, the moment they confirmed they were dating. He gave in. Having a best friend that has a crush on you, is a delicate thing to deal with. Especially if the feelings aren't mutual. When I was younger, my guy best friend told me several times that he was sick of being just friend, He was "in love with me" as much as a 5th grader can be in love. Things became so awkward between us, I gave in and decided to try it. I hoped he'd either realize I wasn't right for him, or I would somehow start to feel the same.

Neither of those things happened. And a year later, we were in middle school, and things were changing. Couples were holding hands and hugging, not playing all the time at recess.That's when I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep leading him on. It wasn't fair to either of us. So I broke it off. He pretended he understood, but I know he didn't. He was angry, and hurt.

Things have never been the same between us. There's a small, awkward wall we've both built. I quietly tell him about the guys in my life, and he brags about the girls in his.  At school, I'm known as "the girl who dumped ______ in the sixth grade for a punk ass skater. Which isn't really true.

I can't stand the super Jemi fans, because they remind me of some of my friends that always say I'll end up marrying my guy best friend because deep down we're still in love.  We're not. He's my best friend, and nothing more. I hate when people tell us we should get back together. I don't want too. I love him as a friend. I can't love him the way he might love me.

Oh, Darlin'

I'm gonna rant/ramble, because that's what blog are for.

Joe Jonas swears. In the words of the late, great, Chris Farley, "La di freakin' dah!". I can guarantee that he's been swearing since started 7th grade. The fact of the matter is, teenage boys swear. 21 year men swear. Most of the population swears! Joe just doesn't do it in public much, since he's connected to Disney.

He's NOT the same goofy, clumsy teenager Jonas fans fell in love with. He's an adult, with adult experiences. He's 21, he drinks, he goes to clubs, and his ring is gone. Big whoop. He's a grown man, and can make his own decisions. No matter how much we miss that goofy teenager, he's not there anymore. Love the Joe that's here right now, or don't at all.

K, I'm done. Bye.

-Zo

Again People?

Stop! Just stop! I can't belive some of the things Jonas fans are saying! Get it together people! Today we should be supporting Joe! it's his second concert ever! But are we? No! A bunch of fans started the day hating on him because of a T-SHIRT and now because he went to a bar with a girl. Puh-lease. That shirt is ugly, yes. But lay off. He's 21 years old. That's old enough to drink, so get over the fact that he drinks. Look at the girl in the picture next to him. How do you think she feels? She obvoisly doens't want to be seen. Stop saying they're a couple. How do you know? This is the first time we've seeen her. She could just be a friend, that got together with Joe that night to have a drink. Back off and support him. He's a big boy. He's  person. Don't forget that.

-Zo