I'm so ready for the Fastlife

SO GO OUT AND BUY IT FOLKS! OCTOBER11TH IS THE DAY!!!

Wake Me Up When September Ends (So it can feel like fall!!!)

So I've decided to make a list of things I love about fall. It's my favorite season after all.

• Everything smells like pumpkin spice. I'm not even kidding. My whole house smells like pumpkin spice candles. It's delicious.
• Flannel shirts. ('Nuff said)
• Ugg boots.
• Driving around and looking at all the leaves changing color.
• Halloween Oreos. We all know they're just better then regular ones.
• Pumpkin pie.
• Thanksgiving

When The Party's Over, How Will I Get Home?

I have that reputation. I'm a high school cliche, in most peoples eyes, and even in my own.

I'm the girl that helps everyone with everything. When your boyfriend dumps you, my shoulder comes out of no where, and is ready to soak up the tears.

Don't understand your biology homework? Come on over to Zo's desk, and she'll explain it too ya!

I get good grades for my parents to say "My daughter's straight A."

And that's great. I love making people happy and helping them feel better, and making my parents proud. There is a downside, because the other end of the cliche is that "I'm there for everyone, but no one is there for me."

When my heart hurts, no one knows what to say. When I don't know the answer, no one else does.  When I get a B, no one cuts me any slack.

I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, where's the fairness in that? I give my everything, and get not help in return. I don't want a friggin parade or anything. I just want support when I need it too. Is that so much to ask? I don't think so. It doesn't take much energy for me to help everyone.

Today's blog title is pretty fitting, huh? It's a line from a Christina Perri song. (She's the Jar of Hearts girl) The song's called Sad Song. It fits this occasion nicely.

-Zo

STOP

“In this world it’s so easy to hate it, but you should always remember that you were chosen to be on this earth” - Joe Jonas

I saw this on tumblr, and found it way to powerful not to post here. This doesn't just here because I want the Joe hate to stop. (But don't get me wrong, I DO) I just want hate to stop in general. Love everyone. Always

Oh How I Wish My Life Could Be, Zero Gravity

I always seem to be tripping myself. Yet I'm also always competing with myself. Well I guess not myself really, but other expectations of me. I'm supposed to be straight A, college bound, future changer of the world. At least according to my Mom. I'm not sure if that is  me anymore though. You see, I've grown up a lot over the summer. Like I said before, I don't act and think like a 14 year old girl. I never have really.

Anyways, back to tripping myself, I have a lot of fears. A fear of speaking my mind, even though I have a big opinion. A fear of asking for help. A horrible fear of failing, and not being good enough. A fear of my GPA slipping, or a B finding it's way onto my report card. I'm afraid of letting go, and being the person I want to be, instead of the "pleasing everyone" kind of girl I am.

I wrote a song yesterday. On the front steps of a church two blocks from my house. I got upset and stormed off. Before i knew it I had a verse and a chorus. Picture a really rocked up tempo in your head.

Whenever I rise above the ground
I always feel myself crashing down
It's this stupid law of physics
That requires a lot of doctors visits

One moment I'm soaring to great heights,
The next I gotta get up and fight
Just once I'd like life to be,
Zero Gravity
Oh
Zero gravity
I'll always wonder as I wander,
But in my heart,
The thought grows fonder
Oh How I wish my life could be,
Zero Gravity

Every Tear Drop Is A Waterfall

I apologize for the depressing posts I've been writing lately. Nothings been going my way as of late, and I've been venting about it all on here. That's not fair. You don't want to read about all of that!

Something I've realized lately, is that no one really sees 100% of me. At school you see 40% of the real Zoey Noel. At home, my family gets about 60%. What's that other 40% NO one sees you ask? Well that's a pure, untouched part of myself that I only see. Those are my thoughts, my unshared dreams, the quick wit and dry humor that doesn't show up on my twitter account or formspring. A part of me, I keep to myself because the world isn't ready for the entire Zoey yet. The only other person who maybe is, is well... my Joe Jonas cut out. He knows all my deep dark secrets.

I think I'm going to share one of those on here now, just because I trust you guys. But if a super judgemental plastic from my school reads this, then I'm screwed. I;m willing to take that risk though.

In my search for the real Zoey Noel, I discovered an odd fact about myself. If I had the pain tolerance, I'd love a tattoo. Not one of those cheesy cliche ones. Not mermaids, eagles, or "mom" hearts. Something that actually means something. Not act of defiance, or a reason to put cool art on my body Song lyrics. A Jonas quote. Words basically. Words are easy, and beautiful. I love to write words, and make something with them. A story. A picture may be worth 1000 words, but 100 words are worth so much more then a picture.

Does that make sense? Of course not! This is Almost O'Hara! Nothing on this website EVER makes sense! That's because I'm writing it, and this is my life.

Peace and blessings,

Stay Classy,

Zoey O'Hara Layne

PS (Like my stage name?)

PSS Do you like the blog title? I dig Coldplay. Did you know they're this generation's Radiohead? :p

I Can't. I'm Sorry, But I Can't

Today is one of those rip your hair out, and then go sob in the corner kind of days. I feel like a horrible person, and I feel sick to my stomach. I hate everything right now. This whole problem is because that title up there ^^^^^ is something I need to tell a person. If he doesn't just fully let go, I can't either. We're not being very fair to each other. If he keeps this up, there will be more days like today. When the guilt builds and builds, and then the dam bursts. I'm  the one left feeling guilty, while he just has heartache. It's a twisted circle I don't think I can stand anymore.

I'm the "you" in this song lyric.  I hurt him, and now whenever I say 'He's my brother! Gross! Incest is wrong you guys!' I twist the knife I put in his heart two years ago just a little bit more.

Maybe I'm over reacting, and he's fines. I know if the situation was reversed, I'd be feeling like that. It's days like today when I need an older sister to talk to, instead of a friend who's advice is, "Just go out with him and live happily ever after" (Obviously, she doesn't understand that the feeling isn't mutual)

I Want Your Lifejacket in Love

Greg Garbowsky is engaged to the beautiful and talented Paris Carney. I am seriously, so happy for them. I LOVE Paris' music so much, and I love Greg's music too. Basically, I love both of these people very much. Greg has always felt like my distant older brother. I don't really know why. He just has. Two people I love, in love. I'm so happy for them both, and I wish them the best. A happy life together and all of that.

Paris Carney fans, and Ocean groves fans should find the humor in this post title. If not you're lost. Sorry.